(All sounds are the best written interpretaion)

Then in nineteen hundred and forty, I luckily arrived in the United States. Unable to speak a word of English, of course, which was a handicapp becuase I found most people over here do. 

And I tried to lean the language and I got along as time and a half went by and I picked up a few words here and there. Mostly there because I hadn't been here yet. But I found that people who speak English do not understand each other too well. Due to the fact that they do not use punctuation marks when they talk And that, that is why I invented phonetic punctuation which means that while we talk we will intergrate puntuation marks by giving them sound. So that we can underline our sentances as well when speak as we do when we read and or write. I'll teach you the system.

A period sounds like this - pwwwp
Here is a dash - fssss
An exclamation point is a vertical dash with a period underneath - fsssspwwwp.
Here is a comma - squeek
Quotation are two commas - squarksqueek
If you happen to be left handed - squeeksquark
A question mak is rather difficult - kkeeeeplop
Finally the colon. Two little dots, you know you put them either over or under each other - fuzzzzzzz
That is the sound for the colon.

I have a book here and I'm gonna read to you a short story so you can see how this system really sounds.

This book was written by Shakespeare this time, Johann Sebastian Shakespeare. This is a pick pocket edition by the way. I have a short story, right here in the beginning of the book. Here it is on page two.

In the open window there suddenly came light pwwwp
Beautiful Eleanor sat alone dreaming of but one thing pwwwp fssss
Two years had passed squeek since she met Sir Henry pwwwp
She would still remember the uinhappy evening squeek when her father had thrown him out pwwwp

They had been sitting in the park And Henry said fuzzzzzzz squarksqueek darling fuzzzzzzz is this the first time you have loved kkeeeeplop squarksqueek

She had answered fuzzzzzzz squarksqueek yes fssss but it is so  wonderful squeek that I hope it will not be the last fsssspwwwp squarksqueek fssss

It's getting a little messy

Suddenly she heard a well known sound pwwwp It was he pwwwp In two strides he was near her squeek embraced squeek kissed and caressed her pwwwp fssss  squarksqueek Henry! What is love kkeeeeplop squarksqueek  she askedpwwwp 

He answered fuzzzzzzz  squarksqueek Well squeek I could not without fssss squarksqueek  fssss pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp pwwwp  pwwwp     pwwwp 

She asked:  squarksqueek  Where have all your thoughts been this while kkeeeeplop squarksqueek 

He answered: squarksqueek With thee squeek my maiden  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss  fssss 

Suddenly he was gone pwwwp All she heard was the well known sound of his departing horsepwwwp 
